Wilderness Wonderings

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.”
Matthew 5:7

Mercy and grace are two sides of the same coin. We have often defined mercy as “not receiving the judgement that we deserve” and grace as “receiving a blessing that we do not deserve.” In both cases, the definition of mercy and grace imply that they are not something that is deserved or can be earned. In fact, with both, we deserve the opposite of what we receive. We tend to sum up these two words with another word that shares a similar meaning: forgiveness.

But what is forgiveness? Forgiveness is perhaps one of the most misunderstood and misused words in the English language. We often say that we “forgive” someone but we continue to harbor bitterness towards the offender in our hearts. Is that really forgiveness? Does forgiveness require demonstrative, sincere confession and contrition in order to be granted? Does forgiveness imply meritorious reward for for humble repentance? Or does forgiveness inspire confession, contrition, and repentance?

If you look closely at the word, the center of the word is another word that is the root of the entire meaning of it: give. At its root forgiveness implies an act of giving of oneself to another. In fact, in the New Testament the Greek word “aphesis” that is translated as “forgiveness” is an active word that means to release as a jailer would release a prisoner. Additionally, there is a secondary definition that means “to cause to stand away”. In simpler legal terms, it is the separating of a criminal from their crime, and no longer counting it against them. The offense is no longer on the record.

Let’s be perfectly clear. Forgiveness does not ignore that an offense has occurred. In fact, by definition it must acknowledge that an offense exists that is worthy of punishment or restitution. However, forgiveness is the act of taking that punishment on themselves and considering the debt paid in full. In terms of accounting, it is the act of paying for the debt owed to you out of your own funds.

I’ve often asked this question and it is rare that I get an honest, self-examined answer: “Is it more important to be right or in a right relationship?” The obvious answer would be “to be in a right relationship.” But do we really believe that if we continue to harbor resentment towards someone who wronged us? Have we really mended the relationship? Or are we just easing our own conscience with false humility and buried pride? It’s one thing to throw away your pride and forgive someone; it’s quite another to bury your pride and shake hands while holding on and nursing a grudge waiting for the next offense to rear its head. It’s the proverbial hatchet – buried with the handle sticking out ready to be surfaced to cut the offender back down to size.

Jesus put it quite simply like this: the greatest commandment is to love the Lord God with all your heart, mind, body, and spirit AND (not “BUT”) the second is like it – love your neighbor as yourself. (Matthew 22:37-40) Jesus literally equated our love for God with our love for each other. If we truly love our neighbor, forgiveness should come quickly. In fact, if you are a Christ follower, knowing the price that God paid to forgive you of your sin, you forfeited all rights to have an unforgiving spirit towards anyone.

When I look upon the landscape of our country today, it breaks my heart to see a spirit of unforgiveness blanketing our land. It has manifested itself in political divisiveness and violence from every corner. What is the most disheartening is when I see self-proclaimed Christ followers DEMANDING restitution for offenses perpetrated against them. I see Christians who speak with bitterness in their words. I’ve seen believers go decades without speaking to one another because of simple or even complex disagreements all because they are more concerned with being right about their side of the argument than being in a right, restored relationship with one another.

Forgiveness is the most precious act of love that anyone can give. It does not require restitution because then it becomes something earned by the offender, rather than something given by the giver. Forgiveness releases the shackles of payment from the offender, but it also releases the forgiver from the chains of bitterness and resentment. Don’t get me wrong – forgiveness doesn’t come easy. It’s not easy to let go of the hurt and the pain, especially when we have become so accustomed to it that it just seems natural and to release that pain means to venture into uncharted territory of emotional vulnerability. In its fullest context, this is the greatest blessing that extends beyond material giving and the fullest meaning of Jesus’ words when He said “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

“But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, I will say to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.’ And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.” And they began to celebrate.” (Luke 15:17-24)

Have you ever lost something of great value only to find it again later? Do you recall the joy you experienced when you found it again? I recall when I still played baseball that I was preparing for a game one day and I couldn’t find my glove. It was a critical piece of equipment that would determine if I would even be allowed to play that day. Sure, I could probably have borrowed a glove from someone else, but it wouldn’t have been the same because it was my glove. It was familiar and it fit my hand. It had my name on it. And it had been given to me by my grandfather, so there was a sense of sentimentality attached to that glove as well. And at the last minute, I found it, lying underneath the edge of my bed. I yelped with joy and then ran to head off to join my teammates to play the game.

The parable of the prodigal son is prefaced by two other parables of an owner who has lost a prized possession. One was the story of a man with 100 sheep, who lost one. He left the 99 other sheep to find the one that wandered off. And when he found the lost sheep, he rejoiced and carried it home and throws a party. (Luke 15:3-7) The second parable is one of a woman who lost one of 10 silver coins. She light a lamp, cleaned the entire house, until she found it. And when she found it, she threw a party – rejoicing. (Luke 15:8-10) How much more so was the rejoicing of the father over the return of his lost son!

The son had “come to his senses” and realized that those in his father’s house were well fed. So he thought to himself, since I treated my father as if he were dead by demanding my inheritance while he was still alive, then perhaps he thinks of me as dead to him and no longer his son. Yet the reaction of the father says exactly and entirely the opposite.

The father saw his son while he was still a long way off and he ran. He couldn’t wait to embrace his son. Still the patriarch of his household, he ordered his servants to clothe him and to feed him and to rejoice with him over the return of this lost son. His son. In the father’s mind, his son’s broken fellowship evoked fear that his son had died. Now with the fellowship restored, the truth that his son was indeed still alive was realized. His lost son was now found. And he rejoiced along with all of his servants.

How often are we like the son thinking that if we just return and serve, we can re-earn the Father’s mercy? How much more joyous should we be when we return and discover that the Father still calls us His child? As all three of these stories testify: proximity does not dictate possession. The lost sheep still belonged to the shepherd. The lost coin still belonged to the woman. And the lost son was still the child of the Father.

Three other items to point out about the father’s response to his son’s return and the parallel to the Father’s expectation of us, the church:

“Bring QUICKLY the best robe and put it on him and put a ring on his hand.” – Without hesitation, cover the shame of his filth from lying in the pigpen. In the same way, forgive the wayward brother or sister who has returned to the family and welcome them home.
“…and put shoes on his feet.” – Make it easier to for him to walk upon the rocky road of redemption, even if his feet are still covered in mud. In the same way, have mercy upon the wayward brother and sister who has returned to the family and help them to walk anew in the light of mercy.
“bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate.” – Feed him so that he can renew his strength. In the same way, feed the wayward brother or sister who has returned upon the Word of God in a manner that will renew their strength in the Word, as opposed to offering words of judgement.

Perhaps you are still “sleeping in the pigpen” wondering if the Father will welcome you home. The truth is, the Father’s eyes are forever looking down the road anxiously waiting for you to “come to your senses.” He will run to you, embrace you, and still call you His child. He’s waiting for an excuse to throw a party to celebrate your return. And what more cause for celebration is the return of a child long left for dead to the world. You are more valuable than a lost sheep, a lost coin, or a lost baseball mitt. You are a child of the Father, and that makes all the difference in the world.

The Mercy of the Kingdom

The Father’s Compassion

forgiveness

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